It has come to my attention that a lot of ppl have asked me of my opinion on why guys behave differently after getting the girls, is it the side of the guy that the girl haven’t seen? or is it just a behavioural change because they felt more secure? In secure I mean that they felt that they already have the girl and doesn’t worry about losing her. To my own experience it is due to a feeling of security, u tend to think that when u have the girl that there’s no more to be done.. no more flowers, surprises and that sort…. I know from a first hand experience… I once did this with my girlfriend.. and she hates it… I known better not to be too relaxed too secure there is a possibility of the girl being bored with you because u are just no fun anymore…. 😀 A girl of mine once demanded that I provide a sort of entertainment for her, something new about me that she wants to discover.. hehe she got what she wanted.. which left her scared 🙂 Who’d want a boyfriend who has a crazy outlook on life anyway 8-}.
Ok back to the topic why do they change, one point is that they feel secure, the other is that most of couples today started as friends… As friends the level of secrecy is different as a couple it’s another story. Say, you would’nt mind telling a girl friend that you went out with who, but would u dare tell that to ur girlfriend.. certainly not. And I don’t mean going out as in cheating behind her back, more of a social event. 🙂 So that sort of secrecy will certainly changes the way that he reacts around u. Not that there aren’t guys that doesn’t change but to a certain degree.. change must follow. I have a number of cases in mind which I can show to how this has happened. (Mind u I was once a student counselor 🙂 ). There’s one case where they are already bestfriends for a long time… around 5 years. And have been through a lot and have shared a lot together.. But the girl came to me wanting to know why the guy has changed. Why is there sort of a barrier between them now. To a simple explanation it would be best said that he doesn’t want to hurt her.
People changes and there are a lot of reasons to change them and not necessarily connected to the relationship. A certain event in life can change u and so many other reasons. So for me, what is needed for a relationship to work is that there must be a certain level of give and take involved. The guy must accept certain things about the girl and vice versa. In life there is no such thing as perfection, we may strive to get it but getting it is another thing altogether. Ok that’s all…
p/s: What I’m saying is not necessarily true, but this is what I know from my experience and from dealing with other people 🙂
[Listening to: Lara Hati – Katon Bagaskara – Damai Dan Cinta (5:36)]